Wealthy Sharks Moving To Maine In Record Numbers After Acquiring Taste For Lobster
May 16th - Reports indicate that wealthy sharks have been observed swimming up to the coast of Maine in record numbers after acquiring a taste for lobster while on vacation.
The sharks, the majority of whom rank among the most affluent members of the shark community, say they’ve heard nothing but good things about the quality of lobster off the coast of Maine.
“Felicia and I recently took a much-needed swim down to Turks & Caicos for a couple of weeks, and they served the most magnificent lobster I’ve ever had in my life,” said Mark, a great white shark who has spent most of his life off the coast of Southern California. “They don’t serve lobster like that out west, and I’m quite tired of settling for second-rate food. Nibbling at people’s legs was fun every once in a while, but everyone knows that fast food is simply terrible for your long-term health.”
Despite the colder ocean temperatures in the northeast, the sharks say they’re not overly concerned with the lack of warmth.
“I’ve got cousins who recently moved into property off the coast of Cape Cod, and they told me it’s not as cold as the poor sharks make it out to be,” scoffed Mark. “Plus, a quick mimosa with our morning lobster should warm us up quite nicely. I’ll bring my mink coat just in case.”