Report: Trix Not For Kids Anymore
March 23rd - Sources indicate that Trix, the popular cereal with the tagline “Trix are for kids,” are no longer for kids. The Trix rabbit has decided to move forward with his life after years of catering to the younger generations.
“I thought about raising the age limit for my cereal,” said the beleaguered rabbit while sipping a martini. “But kids these days are so fucking entitled, I can’t stand it anymore. It’s time for me to do me, and it’s time for kids to find a new cereal. This interview is over...I’m off to the club.”
Adults are thrilled, as the new guideline allows anybody over the age of 18 to enjoy Trix cereal. Those under the age of 18 are forbidden from enjoying the sugary treat, under penalty of up to 10 years in prison and/or a $5,000 fine.