Are Babies Getting Uglier? Studies Say No, But You Are
March 12th - Over the last several months, startling reports from sources have indicated that newborn babies might be uglier than they have ever been before, causing the scientific community to drop everything else and spend all of their time and resources figuring it out.
According to studies conducted by experts, data shows that babies have actually maintained their average-looking appearance over the last 40 years, but you are definitely getting much uglier.
“Despite widespread fears that babies aren’t as cute as they used to be, our data shows that babies are actually 5 percent cuter - on average - than they were in 1978,” said Dennis, the former head of NASA’s space exploration program who quit his job to focus on this study. “On the other hand, we did conclude that you are definitely much less attractive than you used to be. I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”
Upon further examination of the data, experts came to the conclusion that you should potentially think about a gym membership, or at least consider cutting back on the fast food.