Rooster Wishes His Friends Would Shut The Fuck Up And Let Him Sleep In For Once
April 3rd - Sources say that a local rooster is getting really sick and tired of being woken up every single morning by his friends and family, and would like to have just one day every now and then where he isn’t forced to be awake at the crack of dawn.
The rooster, who says he works night shifts most of the time due to cutbacks at his company, can no longer handle the incessant cock-a-doodle-doo-ing every day as soon as the sun peeks over the horizon.
“Here’s a new thought for all of my friends to chew on,” said the exhausted rooster. “Not all of us work 9 to 5 jobs, and some of us would enjoy the opportunity to sleep past six in the morning on occasion. How about, once a week, we just cock-a-doodle-don’t.”
The rooster, who has tried everything from sleeping pills to earplugs, is growing desperate for an end to the morning wake-up-calls.
“At this point, I’m starting to wish I was a chicken so I would’ve been taken out of my misery a long time ago,” said the weary farm animal. “Please, everybody...have some respect for my Sunday mornings, and shut the fuck up for once.”