REPORT: Studies Show 25% Increase From Eight To Ten

REPORT: Studies Show 25% Increase From Eight To Ten

June 19 - Sources in the scientific community have released a bombshell report this afternoon claiming that data collected from several studies have proven that there is a 25% increase from eight to ten. 

The data from these groundbreaking studies confirm what experts have been fearing for years, as concrete evidence now exists to support the claim that there is, in fact, a 25% increase from eight to ten.

“This is a major accomplishment for the scientific community, as well as the entire world,” said Dr. James Calculator, who happens to be a leading expert on studies. “I’d like to dedicate the results of these studies to all the idiots out there who doubted the legitimacy of our work, and I’d be very interested to know if they still think this was a ‘complete waste of time and money’ or if I’m still a ‘miserable excuse for a son.’”

Experts are undecided as to how they can make the best use of this data going forward, but there is widespread hope that this finding may lead to more groundbreaking discoveries.

“As excited as I am to learn about this increase from eight to ten, I’d go on record as saying that I’m even more anxious to learn about what happens from ten to twelve,” said Dr. Calculator. “But you’ll be happy to know that I currently have a team working on that problem as we speak, and I expect to have the results for you within the next 15 to 7 months."
Local Man’s Athletic Career In Jeopardy After Suffering Cramp In Thigh While Searching For Parking Spot At Gym

Local Man’s Athletic Career In Jeopardy After Suffering Cramp In Thigh While Searching For Parking Spot At Gym

New Immigration Policy Allows Families To Compete In Thrilling Game Show To Win Their Children Back

New Immigration Policy Allows Families To Compete In Thrilling Game Show To Win Their Children Back