Report: Horror Films Are Becoming Too Scary

Report: Horror Films Are Becoming Too Scary

April 26th - Reports indicate that movies in the “horror” genre are becoming much too scary; a horrifying concept that terrifies the average person.

Following the release of the remake of Stephen King’s “IT” last fall, as well as the recent horror/thriller film “A Quiet Place,” people are starting to become concerned that horror movies are simply becoming far too scary.

“It seems like the producers of these horror films just don’t even consider our emotions anymore,” said Toby, an HR representative from Pennsylvania. “It’s bad enough that ticket prices at the theater have skyrocketed over the last several years, but now they’re just making these films without an ounce of regard for my ability to withstand scary content. I’m honestly sick of standing up at the end of the movie and having to explain to everyone around me that the stain on my pants is from a soda that I spilled.”

Toby was not alone in his distaste for the direction that the horror film industry appears to be headed towards.

“You know, I never used to have to think twice about bringing four small children with me to see a scary movie,” said Rachel, a local mother of nine. “But now, between all this fancy CGI and these well-written scripts, I just don’t feel comfortable bringing my toddlers to the movie theater to watch immensely frightening movies. Thanks a lot, Hollywood.”
Unemployed Millennial With Three Master's Degrees Wishes He Had Learned Cursive

Unemployed Millennial With Three Master's Degrees Wishes He Had Learned Cursive

Scientist On Brink Of Discovering Cure For ADHD Distracted By Shiny Object Over There

Scientist On Brink Of Discovering Cure For ADHD Distracted By Shiny Object Over There