President Trump Claims To Have Perfect Bracket Through First Two Rounds Of NCAA Tournament, Will Release Full Bracket After Championship Game
March 19th - President Trump has been going through a tough time lately, battling porn stars, fake news, and the fact that 80 percent of the country hates him. This morning, however, he announced a bit of good news when he claimed to have a perfect bracket through the first two rounds of the NCAA tournament, despite the fact that there have been countless upsets and nobody has a perfect bracket anymore.
Trump broke from recent tradition when he declined to fill out a bracket for the annual college basketball tournament on national television, a fun segment that former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush both participated in while they were in office. Despite his reluctance to show anyone who he picked to win, the Commander-In-Beef claims that he has picked every single game correctly through the first two rounds, which wrapped up last night.
“I have the best bracket you’ve ever seen...you won’t believe how amazing my bracket is,” said the man who convinced 63 million people to vote for him last November. “I picked every single game correctly, and I have full confidence that I will remain perfect throughout the remainder of the tournament.”
When pressed to release his bracket so that the American public could marvel at his intelligence, Trump said that would be irresponsible of him, but he promised that he would release his bracket in its entirety as soon as the championship game is over.