Outdoor Cat Afraid To Leave Home Due To Fear Of Curiosity
May 17th - Sources say that a local outdoor cat is terrified to leave his home due to a paralyzing fear of Curiosity, a notorious cat-killer who is believed to still be on the loose.
Pablo, a 7-year-old cat from Fairfax, Virginia, says that he refuses to leave the safety of his home for the time being, despite the fact that he is considered to be an outdoor cat who prefers the freedom of the outside world.
“I love being outside...chasing dogs, hunting for mice, typical cat stuff. But my friends have told me all about Curiosity, and apparently he’s killed hundreds of my friends over the last several months,” said Pablo. “I’m not looking for any trouble. I keep to myself, like any well-behaved cat should. If maintaining my personal safety means avoiding Curiosity at all costs, then it looks like I’ll be spending some time indoors for a while.”
Pablo’s owners are pleased to hear the news, as it means they no longer have to worry about their cat encountering Curiosity for the foreseeable future.
“Curiosity didn’t just kill those cats,” said Thomas, one of Pablo's owners. “Curiosity also killed my sex drive and put my son in jail. The sooner Curiosity is removed from our society, the better off we’ll all be.”