NRA Vice President Proves That Guns Are Not The Problem By Strangling Fifteen People To Death
May 10th- Wayne LaPierre, the executive vice president of the National Rifle Association (NRA), proved that guns are not the real problem by strangling fifteen people to death this morning.
LaPierre admitted that his actions may have been a bit extreme, but was adamant about the fact that they were necessary.
“It breaks my heart to see the way people blame guns for every mass shooting,” said LaPierre. “It isn’t the guns’ fault, and it seems like the only way for me to get people to understand that is by murdering fifteen strangers with my bare hands. Now do you all get it?”
Twelve of the fifteen victims were lifetime members of the NRA, but LaPierre claimed that if they were real members they would have been carrying guns with them.
“What kind of a fool doesn’t carry a gun with them at a children’s birthday party? If they were true Americans they would have been armed, and they would have been able to stop me from strangling them,” said LaPierre. “The tragedy that occurred today would almost certainly have been prevented if only there had been a good guy with a gun.”