Nation Could Really Use A Few Days Off From Having A Government
March 26th - Reports indicate that people all across the nation are absolutely exhausted, and could really use a few days off from having a government.
Members on both sides of the political spectrum appear to be in full agreement that it’s all just getting ridiculous at this point, and it would most likely be in everyone’s best interest if the entire government just stepped back for a bit and let the nation relax and take care of their own business.
“I understand the importance of having a functional government that oversees the country and works diligently on behalf of the citizens,” said Angela, a physics professor at the University of Michigan. “It just doesn’t really feel like that’s actually happening, and I think I speak for everyone when I say I could use a few days off from it. If everyone in [Washington] D.C. wants to go ahead and hold off on attempting to govern for the next week or so, I think I can handle myself.”
Members of Congress said they were surprised to hear that the nation felt this way, but were more than happy to continue doing absolutely nothing productive through the end of the week.