Moderately Racist Basketball Fan Can’t Believe How Many Side Jobs LeBron James Has
March 28th - A basketball fan from Portland, Oregon, whose friends describe him as “moderately racist,” is in complete awe of how many side jobs NBA superstar LeBron James has.
“I mean, I know the guy is ridiculously talented, but it’s crazy how many times I’ve seen LeBron doing odd jobs all over the place,” said Hank, who can’t resist the urge to point out the fact that there’s only one white guy on the court every time he watches an NBA game. “Last week I saw him working as a cashier at Target, the other day he was working on a construction site in my hometown, and - perhaps most impressive of all - just last night I ran into him at my local pharmacy, while he was also playing in an NBA game live on national TV.”
Hank says that at first, he wasn’t sure if the men he was seeing at these various jobs were actually LeBron James, but he became convinced when he noticed that they were African Americans who also had numerous tattoos.
“Yeah, yeah, I know it seems like a stretch that all of these guys were actually LeBron James,” said the man who swears that he had a black friend in high school. “But the resemblance was uncanny, so LeBron is either working multiple jobs on top of his NBA duties, or he has a bunch of twin brothers working at all of my local businesses. You tell me which scenario is more likely.”