Local Residents Upset By Stick Figure In Wheelchair Who Has Reserved Parking Spots All Over Town
May 3rd - Sources say that local residents are up in arms after noticing that a stick figure in a wheelchair has reserved parking spaces all over town, most of which happen to be in prime parking areas.
Greg Phillips, one of the first local residents to notice the reserved parking spaces, was absolutely furious, citing the fact that the stick figure in the wheelchair already has access to the best stalls in public restrooms.
“This is just ridiculous,” said Phillips, a healthy man in his thirties who is fully capable of walking short to medium distances. “I don’t know who this guy is, but does he really need to have four reserved parking spaces right next to the door at every single restaurant and public office in town? I looked the other way when they gave him access to the bathroom stall with all the extra leg room and the fancy bars to rest your phone on, but I draw the line at preferential parking.”
Other residents agreed with Phillips, pointing out the fact that this anonymous man with the great parking options and amazing bathroom accommodations is too much of a coward to reveal his true identity.
“Well this guy must truly be special,” said Lisa, a healthy woman in her forties who was forced to walk an additional fifteen feet to the door at the supermarket due to the reserved parking spaces. “Special enough that he won’t even put his actual name on the sign. If I ever meet this spoiled asshole in person I’m gonna give him a real piece of my mind.”