Local Napkin Dreams Of Becoming A Paper Towel One Day
March 27th - Sources close to a local napkin say that it has been spending countless hours of late daydreaming about becoming a paper towel when it grows up.
Despite being constantly told that it needs to grow up and stop living with its head in the cabinet, the napkin refuses to back down from its ambitious goals, and truly believes that - if it cleans hard enough - one day it will manage to become a paper towel.
The napkin’s parents say they are concerned about their child, who doesn’t seem to care about anything other than being a Bounty Quicker Picker Upper in the future.
“I just wish Nap would try to be more realistic,” said the napkin’s mother. “I’ve seen what happens to other napkins who refuse to listen to reason, and the last thing I want is for my child to drop out of the holder and become a moist towelette.”