Local Bully Doesn’t Have Troubled Home Life, Just Happens To Be An Asshole

Local Bully Doesn’t Have Troubled Home Life, Just Happens To Be An Asshole

March 30th - Sources say that a local middle schooler who has developed a reputation for being a bully to his classmates does not have a troubled home life, but instead just happens to be a real asshole.

While studies have shown that most bullies choose to pick on their classmates due to problems at home, low self-esteem, and personal insecurities, Marquis - a local 8th grader - suffers from none of these issues and just decides to hurt other people physically and emotionally because he’s an asshole who enjoys making other people feel sad.

“My parents both work demanding jobs, but they always seem to make sure that they find time for me at the end of the day,” said Marquis when pressed about his home life. “I always have plenty of support and encouragement from them...I’m really very lucky.”

The bully also denied having any personal insecurities that he was attempting to deal with by projecting them onto his weaker classmates.

“I mean, I’m not perfect,” said the young man. “Nobody is. But when it comes down to it, I’m happy with who I am as a person. I just really love the sense of satisfaction that I get when I punch a 6th-grader in the face or shove that nerd who always wears those big stupid glasses into a locker.”
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