Kim Jong Un Executes Himself In Show Of Intimidation
March 22nd - In an effort to demonstrate his power and intimidate his subordinates, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has executed himself. This is the latest in a series of executions of high-ranking North Korean officials that are commonly believed to be purposefully staged by Un in order to incite fear and prevent anyone from attempting escape.
“Supreme Leader Un used to execute his most experienced generals in order to show us that nobody was too important to escape his wrath,” said one North Korean general. “Now we know he wasn’t important enough to escape it either.”
Reports out of the Korean Peninsula indicate that Un’s latest execution has worked exactly as planned.
“Glorious Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un is all-powerful,” said the state-run news anchor. “Let us all bow down and praise his greatness and leadership so that we do not anger him and meet the same fate.”
Un is believed to have been 34 years old at the time of his death. He is survived by his daughter Kim Ju-Ae, and his brother Heimlich, the caterpillar from ‘A Bug’s Life.’
Un was not available to comment for this story.