Jeff Sessions Blames Reverse Racism For Death Of Last White Male Rhino
March 20th - The last remaining male northern white rhino has passed away, leaving just two female members of the species behind. Attorney General Jeff Sessions is reportedly furious over the death of the species, claiming that reverse racism is to blame.
“It’s wonderful to know that while we’re over here building sanctuary cities and letting criminals waltz over our borders, white male rhinos are going extinct,” said Sessions. “First they come for the rhinos, then they come for our guns, and then they come for me.”
The passing of the rhino has left the two remaining females scrambling for ideas, as they no longer have anyone to mate with. Sources close to the rhinos say they are considering becoming lesbians and adopting a black rhino, which has the Attorney General contemplating ending his own life.
News of the rhino’s death also had a heavy impact on President Trump’s sons, Eric and Donald Jr., who fear that they are running out of endangered animals to kill for sport.