In Show Of Generosity, Apple Providing Lucky Consumers With Opportunity To Fight To The Death For Chance To Hold The iPhone XR
Cupertino, CA - In an amazing display of generosity and kindness, Apple has announced that they will provide several lucky consumers with the opportunity to fight each other to the death for the chance to hold the iPhone XR for a short period of time.
The massive tech company says they have heard and understand the complaints from customers that the latest Apple products are unaffordable, and would like to give something back to loyal iPhone and Mac users.
“We know that our critics believe our newest iPhone models are overpriced and lack innovation,” said Oliva Dumont, a spokesperson for Apple. “While the XR and XS versions of the world’s greatest treasure may be more expensive than previous models, our company does not know the meaning of the word greed. Therefore, we are giving this incredible, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for several of our users to fight each other to the death for the chance to hold the iPhone XR for fifteen minutes under close supervision.”
Apple says they will select the lucky contestants based on their complete database of every living person’s information, and there will be no need to apply or get in touch with the company. Winners will be notified via iMessage. Once the chosen few have accepted the terms and conditions, they will be flown to a remote island, given a sword and a shield, and the contest will commence.
The battle will be streamed live on Apple TVs for users to enjoy for a small fee of $19.95.