God Hastily Trying To Install Wheelchair Ramp Before Stephen Hawking’s Arrival
March 14th - Hours after world-renowned physicist Stephen Hawking passed away, sources say that God has been hastily trying to install a wheelchair ramp leading to the gates of Heaven before Hawking arrives.
Hawking, who recently passed away at age 76, will be remembered as one of the most remarkable human beings to ever live, as well as one of the smartest. He was responsible for countless advances in the scientific community, despite being diagnosed with a rare, slow-progressing form of ALS when he was just 21 years old. By 1969, he was confined to a wheelchair due to the progression of the neurological disorder, but that didn’t stop him from continuing his magnificent career.
“I’m very grateful to Mr. Hawking for turning me on to the idea of science,” said God. “I’m very proud to have created him, and it’s the least I can do to make sure that we have proper wheelchair accessibility for him up here in Heaven. I’m working on a ramp right now, and I’ll make sure that we have a designated handicapped parking spot set up for him as soon as possible.”