Groundbreaking Study Suggests That People Who Use Wheelchairs Are More Likely To Be Handicapped
April 15th - According to researchers at the University of Phoenix, new evidence suggests that people who use wheelchairs are more likely to be handicapped than people who do not use wheelchairs.
The alarming study has caught the scientific community off-guard, with many researchers completely blown away by the new findings.
“I’ll never be able to look at a person in a wheelchair the same way again,” said Leslie, a Professor of Humanities at the University of Miami. “It never even crossed my mind that people who use wheelchairs might be handicapped. I’ve always thought that they were just healthy people who were tired of walking.”
Experts are hopeful that the study will raise awareness for the need for better accommodations for the handicapped population.
“I feel absolutely horrible,” said Dan, the owner of Dan’s Staircase Emporium. “I’ll be adding a row of handicapped accessible parking spots by the beginning of next month, and I’ll be looking to install a ramp to my store entrance so that people in wheelchairs will be able to browse my amazing selection of world-class staircases just like everybody else.”
The University of Phoenix researchers also announced that they were on the verge of a major breakthrough in a separate study, which would allow them to prove that people who are shot in the face are more likely to die.