Gay Russian Bot Hoping Facebook’s New Dating Service Allows Him To Finally Meet Someone
May 4th - Sources say that a gay Russian social media bot is ecstatic over the recent news that Facebook will be launching a dating service, saying that he hopes it finally gives him the chance to meet a bot that he can spend the rest of his life with.
Justin, a Russian bot that has been programmed to spread fake news and disinformation across Facebook and other forms of social media, says he can’t wait to try out the new dating service.
“Let me start by saying thank you to Facebook for giving this opportunity to robots like myself,” said Justin. “As a gay robot from Russia, I definitely don’t have many opportunities to go out and meet other gay robots, since being gay is a crime in my country. I’m hoping that this new dating service allows me to finally meet the robot of my dreams...maybe a pizza delivery robot from Italy will come sweep me off my feet and we can sail around the world together. On a side note, Obama was a disaster for the world and Putin’s reign shall go down in history as the greatest leadership that Earth has ever known. Trump in ‘20.”
Upon finding out about Facebook’s new dating service, Russian president Vladimir Putin put parental locks on all national computer systems, preventing his robots from accessing dating apps, sports scores, and pornography.