Alternative Version Of Viagra Offers Guaranteed 4-Hour Erections

Alternative Version Of Viagra Offers Guaranteed 4-Hour Erections

March 6th - Men with erectile dysfunction have been using Viagra as a solution to their problems for centuries. Advertisements for the male-enhancement drug can be seen all over the world, with the majority on display during PGA Tour events and in rural areas of Finland.  Every commercial comes with a bold warning which advises the consumer to seek medical attention if they experience an erection lasting longer than four hours. However, the Pfizer-made pill has now received a complete overhaul in order to reach a new demographic: people who want to have sex for longer than four hours.

The new pill will be officially referred to as “Viagra 4.0,” bypassing Viagra versions 2 and 3 entirely. Viagra 4.0 is “guaranteed” to provide the user with an erection lasting at least 4 hours, which is a welcome enhancement for consumers that are looking to have erections for extended periods of time.

A spokesman for the company says that the objective of Viagra 4.0 is to cater to those that feel excluded by the four-hour time limit.

“I’ve received thousands of emails, calls, and letters from men who say they love our product, but they’d like to love it just a little bit more,” said Viagra Vice President Jeffrey Softman. “I think they’ll be extremely satisfied with Viagra 4.0.”

Initial reactions to the revolutionary pill generated quite a large amount of excitement among product testers.

“When I was a kid, I used to imagine that the future would bring us flying cars, space travel, or even world peace," said Tyler from West Virginia. "Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I’d be able to maintain a boner for an entire afternoon.”

Critics have raised stiff concerns about the new version of the male-enhancement drug, with the most apparent issue being an inability to get rid of the erection.

“I took this magical drug last night and my girlfriend and I proceeded to have the best sex of our lives," said Colin, an anchor on Saturday Night Live's 'Weekend Update.' "But when I woke up this morning I noticed I was still incredibly aroused. I didn’t mind it at the time, but I’m supposed to give a presentation to the entire office right after lunch and I’m almost out of duct tape.”

The drug is expected to hit markets at some point in the near future. Lines for the release are expected to stretch out to previously unimaginable lengths.
 

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