Evil Spirits Can’t Get Out Of Work On Friday The 13th, Postpone Festivities Until Tuesday The 17th
April 13th - Sources say that hundreds of evil demons and spirits are unable to take time off from work on Friday the 13th, and have decided to postpone their festivities until Tuesday the 17th.
The decision to push back their Friday the 13th event, which is typically held once every 200 days or so, was made after countless demons reported that they were too tied down at work to take the day off.
“In this economy, I just don’t feel comfortable taking many days off. I’ve got a family to think about here,” said Jamison, who started working in the marketing department of the seventh circle of Hell two years ago. “There’s no job security anymore. It seems like a different evil demon or spirit shows up every day and inquires about employment opportunities.”
Jamison’s concerns were echoed by other evil spirits, who reiterated that this is not a great time for them to take a day off.
“We’ve seen a ton of company growth over the last few years. New clients are constantly trying to take advantage of our incredible services,” said Molly, a fresh-faced demon intern. “That makes it especially hard to take a day off, because we’ll just fall so far behind. It’s exhausting at times, but I love what I do.”