Climate Change Is A Hoax, Says New England Man Preparing For Fourth Nor’Easter In Two Weeks
March 21st - A man from Providence, Rhode Island announced this morning that climate change is a hoax, and that anyone who thinks otherwise has been brainwashed by the lame-stream media.
Ryan Collins, a 48-year-old who used to live a mile away from the coast but is now the proud owner of beachfront property, confidently declared that global warming is the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard of as he stocked his pantry full of non-perishable food items in preparation for the fourth nor’easter to hit the area within the last two weeks.
“Anyone who believes that climate change is real is an absolute fool,” said Collins as he prepared to shovel two feet of snow off of his driveway for the fourth time in March. “How can global warming possibly be real when it’s cold outside? It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. Maybe if people stopped watching so much fake news and started paying attention to real journalism like InfoWars, Sean Hannity, and that homeless guy behind the gas station who gives me medical advice, they would be better informed as to how much of a hoax climate change truly is.”