CIA Comes To Aid Of Woman Who Spells Out ‘HELP’ On Google Maps Route
April 24th - Sources say that the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) recently came to the aid of a woman who spelled out “HELP” while using Google Maps tracking during her evening run.
Amy Reilly, a 25-year-old dental hygienist from Pennsylvania, was rescued by federal agents last night after they noticed that she had traced out a call for help using Google Maps’ tracking software.
“I’m glad they came for me. It’s always nice to know that you’re being watched at all times so that you can be saved if you’re ever in danger,” said Reilly. “I wasn’t actually in any danger though. I used the tracking software so that I could see how far I ran...any message that I spelled out was purely a coincidence. I was out of water when the CIA came to rescue me, so they were nice enough to provide me with a refreshing beverage.”
For their part, the CIA refused to accept the label of “heroic,” despite their brave actions in potentially saving Miss Reilly’s life.
“Just another day at the office,” said Joe Smith, a CIA agent of 25 years. “We have a duty to watch over Americans at all times. All. Times. And we’ll continue to provide that service, whether you want us to or not.”