Cash Considerations Announces Retirement After Being Traded For 37th Time In Three Weeks
May 8th - Sources say that Cash Considerations, a multi-sport star who has just been traded for the 37th time in the past three weeks, has announced his retirement, stating that the grueling schedule has become too much for him to handle.
Considerations, who has played for over 100 teams in five different sports over his illustrious career, says he can no longer handle the demands of playing for a different team every single week.
“I’m thankful for every opportunity that’s been given to me over the last few decades,” said Considerations while slowly wiping a tear away from his cheek. “But I have a family to think about, and being traded every few days to a new team in a new city is just too much to ask of them. I’m not as spry as I was when I was just a player to be named later. I really thought I had a chance to stick around with the Yankees, but they traded me away almost as quickly as I arrived. Then they signed me again, only to give me away just days later.”
Cash is the first player to ever play five different sports professionally, with a resume that includes short stints with dozens of teams across the NBA, MLB, NFL, NHL, as well as several brief appearances in the Premier League.