BREAKING: Former President Barack Obama Accused Of Having 17 Items In Cart Despite Using “14 Items Or Less” Checkout Lane
April 18th - Breaking reports indicate that Barack Obama, the former President of the United States, has been accused of using an express checkout lane at the grocery store despite having more than the permitted maximum number of items in his cart.
The latest scandal for the former president has put him in a difficult position, as there are several witnesses who have confirmed the allegations.
“You never know what kind of insanity you’re gonna see on the news these days,” said Theodore, an aspiring oil rig who says he’s Sean Hannity’s number one fan. “You just don’t expect to see it right in front of you at the grocery store. I was in line right behind the worst president in US history, and I counted 17 items in his cart even though the sign clearly said 14 or less. I even double-checked, because I couldn’t believe it was possible for a human being to be that much of a monster. Sure enough, 17 items.”
When pressed by reporters, Obama admitted to having too many items in his cart, but claimed that it was an honest mistake.
“I simply didn’t realize that when buying individual yogurts, each yogurt counts towards the total number of items in your cart,” said the former POTUS. “I apologize to those in line around me for any inconvenience this may have caused, and I pledge that in the future I will buy my yogurt in bulk form so a calamity such as this does not happen again.”
The police were called to the scene in case things got out of control, but the situation de-escalated on its own after Obama put three items back.