After Decade Of Starring In Commercials As Patient With Minor Diseases, Actress Finally Lands Cancer Role
April 24th - Reports indicate that a local actress has finally received her big break after landing the “role of a lifetime” with an offer to star in commercials as a patient receiving a brand new cancer treatment.
Daisy Withers, a long-time actress who has spent the majority of the last decade starring in commercials as a patient with recurring headaches, a stuffy nose, and minor digestive issues, is ”ecstatic” to finally be able to add ‘cancer patient’ to her resume.
“I’ve worked so hard my entire career to get cancer,” said Withers. “It’s true what they say about acting. You have to put in long hours, take roles that you might not want to take, and force yourself to keep pushing forward -- even when it feels like you’ll never get your big break. But if you stick with it and work hard enough, one day you will get cancer. I promise.”
Miss Withers says that, while being a cancer patient has been a long time dream, it isn’t the end goal for her.
“Just because I reached the top of this mountain doesn’t mean there isn’t another mountain that I can climb next,” said the jubilant actress. “Once I’m done with the whole cancer thing, the world is my oyster. I can be anything I want to be. I might even try to get AIDS.”