9-Year-Old Forced To Put Tree-House On Market

9-Year-Old Forced To Put Tree-House On Market

April 17th - Sources say that a local child has been forced to place his tree-house on the market after being unable to pay his bills any longer. 

When 9-year-old Miles Perkins looked at his most recent plastic car payment, he realized his life was about to change. Telling reporters that he had known this was coming for several months, he remained of the opinion that the whole situation was “really caca.”

“Between the trip to the toy store coming up and my new all-soda diet, I just knew I’d have to put the tree-house back on the market,” said Miles. “It’s always been my dream to own my own treehouse and move in with Sally and Mr. Floppy; it's really a shame we couldn't keep that dream alive.” 

Stories like Miles’ are becoming more and more common. A new study from the National Center for Kids and Stuff reports that almost 60% of children in North America are unlikely to be able to keep up with their tree-house payments. 

Some children have resorted to selling their Power Wheels, but Miles is adamant that he won’t let go of his KidTrax X300 8 Volt (with built-in sippy cup holder).

“We’re probably gonna have to move back in with our parents,” he told reporters on Tuesday morning. “It's either that or move into the tree-house down the street and become roommates with the kid in my Social Studies class who eats glue. There's no way that's happening.”
 
BREAKING: Former President Barack Obama Accused Of Having 17 Items In Cart Despite Using “14 Items Or Less” Checkout Lane

BREAKING: Former President Barack Obama Accused Of Having 17 Items In Cart Despite Using “14 Items Or Less” Checkout Lane

“Only Five Billion Years To Go,” Says Sun Slowly Rising Above Horizon

“Only Five Billion Years To Go,” Says Sun Slowly Rising Above Horizon