9 Dead After Woman Distracted By ‘Distracted Driving’ Billboard Swerves Out Of Lane, Causes 17-Car Pileup
April 4th - Nine people have died this morning after a local woman became distracted by a billboard imploring drivers not to drive distracted and subsequently swerved out of her lane, causing a major accident involving seventeen cars during rush hour traffic.
Sherry Meadows, lifted her head for just a brief second to read the writing on the billboard and instantly swerved out of her lane, causing one of the worst tragedies in recent memory on I-95.
“The worst part is that I never use my phone while I’m driving,” said Sherry. “I put my favorite Spotify playlist on shuffle before I leave the house, I put my navigation system on speaker so I don’t have to look at my screen, and I never answer any calls when I’m driving. But I was just so curious at what the sign had to say...I’m so sorry to everyone that I’ve hurt.”
Sherry hurt a lot of people. Early estimates indicate that nine people are dead, seven are in critical condition, twelve more sustained serious injuries, and, amazingly, one man is actually in better shape than he was before the crash.
Officials say that the intent of the sign was to warn people of the dangers of distracted driving, but it appears to have had the opposite effect, and will therefore be taken in for questioning immediately.