President Trump Announces Major Breakthrough In American Relations With China After Receiving 25% Off Coupons From Local Chinese Restaurant
March 1st - U.S. President Donald Trump proudly announced a “major breakthrough” in American relations with China this morning, just days after receiving five coupons in the mail from Kevin’s Noodle House, a Chinese restaurant that recently opened a few blocks from the White House.
“I am honored...although I can’t say I am surprised...because I have made great strides with China over my last decade in office that have greatly improved our great country’s relationship with China,” said Donny J. “But I recently received a very gracious...you wouldn’t believe how gracious, possibly the most gracious anyone has ever been...award from a local Chinese representative that allows me to take 25% off my next five takeout orders. This is a huge breakthrough, the likes of which have never been seen before, and will most likely keep me satisfied for at least the next week. We’ll see how their dumplings are first.”
Representatives from Kevin’s Noodle House were pleasantly surprised to hear that they had made a positive impact on U.S. foreign relations.
“It seems a little strange because my family is from New Jersey and we have absolutely no Chinese relatives,” said Kevin Lee, the owner of Kevin’s Noodle House. “I just love Chinese food, so I decided to open up my own restaurant a few months ago, and we sent menus out to all the local residents with promotional coupons inside. I guess that’s really all it takes to make a difference in the world.”