Local Tech Startup Facing Budget Crisis Due To Rising Costs Of Craft Beer
March 2nd - Sources say that TrekTech, a rising startup company based out of Austin, Texas, is facing a major budget crisis due to the rising costs of craft beer.
“We started this company six months ago with a very specific vision,” said TrekTech co-founder Alex Thompson. “We wanted to provide our customers with new, innovative forms of technology. We wanted to revolutionize the way companies do business. That includes allowing our employees to wear hooded sweatshirts to work, enforcing a policy that requires everyone to maintain a beard that is at least five inches in length, and making sure our employee break room is stocked with cases of craft beer at all times.”
Reports indicate that TrekTech executives are conducting an informal Facebook poll to determine how they should deal with the budget crunch.
“I honestly don’t know if I could remain a member of the TrekTech team if they cut my Convict Hill Oatmeal Stout out of the budget,” said Chris, a 22-year-old from Portland, Oregon who thinks that William Shakespeare was an overrated hack as well as a mediocre writer who skated through life on his good looks. “Do they seriously expect us to drink mainstream beer at work? What’s next, are they going to cancel our bi-annual company retreat to the Poconos?”
Due to an overwhelmingly negative response to their poll, TrekTech has decided to maintain their current stock levels of craft beer and will address the budget crisis by laying off 30% of their employees.